When Grief Changes Everything: Making Space for Loss and Hope

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Grief is one of those experiences that changes you at your core.
It’s not just about missing someone or something you loved—it’s about how life feels different after it. Things that used to feel solid suddenly feel fragile. Even the way we see ourselves and our future can shift.

I’ve seen this both personally and through my work in a mortuary setting. Standing with families as they say goodbye, I’ve seen how grief reshapes life in ways you can’t fully understand until you’re standing in it yourself. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it often doesn’t look like what we expected.

Grief Isn’t Something to “Get Over”

One of the hardest parts of grief is the pressure to move on or “be strong.”
But grief doesn’t work on a timeline. It’s not a problem to solve—it’s an experience to be carried, one day at a time. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean things go back to how they were.

In therapy, I often remind clients: You’re not broken—you’re hurting. And hurting is a natural response to loss.

Making Space for Both Loss and Hope

Here’s what I’ve learned:
We can make space for both pain and hope at the same time. You can miss the person you lost and still laugh at something silly your friend says. You can cry when you hear their favorite song but also feel a warm memory instead of just the sting.

It’s about permission. Permission to grieve in your own way, without rushing, without judgment. And permission to let hope and even joy slip back into your life—on their own timeline, not anyone else’s.

How Therapy Helps

Grief can feel isolating, like you’re the only one who “gets it.” Therapy creates a space to speak the unspeakable:

  • To share the parts of grief you don’t feel safe sharing anywhere else.

  • To sit with the feelings that feel too heavy to carry alone.

  • To explore how life might look different now—and what moving forward means for you.

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” grief. It’s about making space for it and finding ways to live alongside it.

If You’re Grieving Right Now

First, know this: You don’t need to have it all figured out.
Grief is a journey that changes you—but that doesn’t mean you have to walk it alone.

If this resonates with you, take a deep breath and notice where you are right now. Maybe your heart feels heavy. Maybe your body feels tired. That’s okay.

You’re allowed to feel everything you feel.
You’re allowed to take it one small step at a time.
And you’re allowed to ask for support along the way.

Reflective Question:
What’s one small way you can honor both your grief and your hope today?


Resources

Bonanno, G. A., & Kaltman, S. (2001). The Varieties of Grief Experience. Clinical Psychology Review, 21(5), 705–734. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0272-7358(00)00062-3

Neimeyer, R. A. (2006). Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping. Center for the Study of Loss and Transition.


This post was written with support from ChatGPT to refine clarity and structure, though every thought and reflection is my own.



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