Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken—It’s Trying to Keep You Safe

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Have you ever had a moment where your heart raced, your chest tightened, or your stomach dropped—and it felt like it came out of nowhere?

Maybe you snapped at someone you love, froze in place when you wanted to speak up, or felt like you had to keep the peace even when you were hurting.

Here’s the thing: you’re not broken.
Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do—keep you safe.




Fight, Flight, Freeze… and Fawn

Most of us know about fight (getting angry or defensive) and flight (avoiding, shutting down, or running from stress). But there are two other common stress responses:

  • Freeze – feeling numb, stuck, or unable to respond.

  • Fawn – people-pleasing to avoid conflict or danger.

These reactions come from one of the oldest systems in our body—our autonomic nervous system. It constantly scans our environment for cues of safety or danger, even when we aren’t aware of it.

Polyvagal Theory (Made Simple)

A framework called polyvagal theory helps explain why we respond the way we do. It suggests our nervous system has three main states:

  1. Safety & Connection (calm, present, socially engaged)

  2. Mobilization (fight/flight energy)

  3. Shutdown (freeze, collapse, numbness)

None of these states are “bad.” They’re adaptive—they’ve kept humans alive for thousands of years. The challenge is when our nervous system gets stuck in survival mode even when the danger has passed.

How Therapy Helps

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to shift. That might look like:

  • Learning to notice your body’s signals without judgment

  • Building tools for self-soothing (breath, grounding, movement)

  • Gently revisiting old experiences with safety and support

  • Reconnecting with your ability to rest, connect, and thrive

You don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode forever. With support, your nervous system can learn what safety feels like again.

A Gentle Reminder

If you’ve ever thought “Why am I like this?” or “What’s wrong with me?”—please hear this: you’re not broken.
Your body has been doing its best to protect you.
Healing happens when we meet it with curiosity and compassion, not shame.

What about you?

When have you noticed your nervous system trying to protect you?
What helps you feel safe and grounded again?


References

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W.W. Norton. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-04659-000

Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W.W. Norton. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-26630-000


This post was written with the assistance of ChatGPT, an AI tool I use to help organize and refine my thoughts. The stories, reflections, and perspectives shared here are my own.

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